"Bestowed upon me is the distinction of reading the dopiest, most sexist Craigslist posting ever by a groomsman in a wedding party (for a guy of questionable taste in friends.) This giant idiot apparently has the responsibility of paying unfortunate women to pretend to pretend that being in the same room with these idiots doesn't make her want to take a vow of celibacy -- or as he puts it, "act like a whore."
"Big" Chris says: "Responsibilities include:
-Acting like a whore to sell raffle tickets
-Acting like a whore to sell joker poker cards
-General whore-like behaviour
Generous compensation for services rendered will be awarded to selected candidates."
Generous compensation will also be offered by me for applicants to the above position who can:
- assume the role of frisky cross-dressing dudes in their 70's
- be wildly turned on by the thought of dancing in a thong for ignorant straight guys
- be willing to end the evening by making off with all raffle and poker cash collected from above-mentioned idiots.
The successful candidate will agree that guys who think of women who have sex for fun or for money, or even just act sexy, as "whores" who are less worthy of respect than themselves are are about as classy as a bunch of swollen bed-bugs.
Please note: "Big" Chris should watch a few episodes of Jersey Shore to learn how to approach women with a little more respect when offering to pay them to pretend anyone with this kind of attitude is remotely sexy. Compensation must be EXTREMELY generous to make it worth the amount of effort required to fake that one.
Location: Duh-ville
Compensation: generous honorarium
This is a part-time job.
This is a contract job.
OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities"
